by Danielle Koons
Math is not fun. Ignore the title. I’ve read numerous studies about how girls aren’t as good at math because we’re too busy painting our nails. Luckily, those studies are now decades old and have been debunked by scientists not living in the dark ages.
See, I’m a girl. I don’t hate math because it’s hard, or because I’d rather go to the mall, or because it isn’t ‘cool’.
I hate math because it’s BORING.
It’s lame because it’s a bunch of meaningless numbers fitting into a pattern I don’t care about or see. I’ve taken nothing but ‘stupid kid’ level math my entire high school years. The first time I ever cared about math…. was this year, my junior year of college. I was sitting there minding my own business, doing some chemistry homework, when I realized that the homework I was doing was eerily similar to some math problems I was forced to do in high school. The only difference is that the numbers were connected to elements. (Elements actually are fun.)
Balancing equations, perhaps you’ve heard of it? You have to do that in chemistry andalgebra.
So I decided to pretend all math problems were interesting. You know, like the Count on Sesame Street.
Subtraction problems: (sigh)
14-7 = 7
14 monkeys - 7 donuts = 7 unhappy monkeys. Or, as I see it, HOLY BANANAS WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THEIR DONUTS? Them monkey’s gonna be mad. You better run. Monkeys are terrifying. And then instead of the math being boring, you’re thinking about being chased by a bunch of angry donut-craved monkeys. That’s not boring.
Addition problems: (yawn)
6+6 = 12
6 swimmers + 6 drops of blood in the water = 12 hungry sharks circling ominously.
Duh na. Duhh na. Duhh na. Duhna. Duhna Duhna Duhna SHARK ATTACK!
If anything, subtraction problems have started to give you anxiety and a fear of sharks. Nothing boring about that!
Multiplication problems: (does this never end?)
3 x 3 = 9
3 rabbits x 3 rabbits = 9 rabbits. Well, technically that equals about 42 rabbits. I should have used something like cows or sloths. Sorry about that.
Division problems: (kill me. end the torture.)
100 ÷ 2 = 50
100 feet ÷ 2 (left foot and right foot, duh) = 50 pairs of shoes. That, my friends, is a lot of shoes. As you write down your answers for the math assignment, imagine all of the kinds of shoes you could have.
See? Math doesn’t have to be boring or torturous. You’re welcome.
If you have been inspired to give math another shot, you should take the math classes offered here at StraighterLine.
StraighterLine even has online tutorials on how to become Advanced Wizard Level at math. There are about over 300 videos on various math and chemistry problems and functions. Needless to say, StraighterLine is very serious about getting you through school!
Go to this link to find the videos for Algebra and Precalculus. I watched one video….and it wasn’t very exciting, I’m sorry. And for some reason the word “polynomials” reminds me of Smurfs. I have no idea why. The video had a narrator, but I think if the narrator were visible and sported a fantastic Mr. Monopoly ‘stache, I’d listen to the video more closely. You know what, I’m going to make my own videos and post them for you guys. It’ll be a musical, by the way, so you can memorize things better. The Numerical Musical: You Can “Count” On Me.
Anyways- the point is, there are some very helpful videos that explain the Wonderful World of Numbers for those of us who struggle to make math fun. The best part is that you won’t be able to stop thinking of the Smurfs and mustaches while you watch the videos! Yay! Now the videos are exciting!
Math can be fun! The only one stopping the fun flow is YOU.
You can sign up anytime you want.
So go on. Give it a shot.
Your math is waiting.
Danielle Koons spends her time going to school for a stupid Bachelor of Science degree, smelling like wet dog (courtesy of her job as a groomer), and pretending to be a famous writer. But not a boring stuffy writer. A cool writer like Lewis Carroll, so she can ignore the “rules” of the English language and make up her own words.
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