Hot College Campus Fashions for Spring
It doesn’t matter whether you take your classes online or in a classroom. You have to be at the forefront of fashion. What is the point of trying to absorb knowledge unless you are wearing the coolest radical new campus fashions, right?
We really don’t know anything about fashion, but like other bloggers, we are not letting ignorance stop us from writing about a topic that seems promising. So here we go.
Jeggings for Women
We have written about jeggings before on this blog. As you know, they are essentially a hybrid of jeans and leggings. (Jeans + Leggings = Jeggings, get it?)
The point of these things is that they are very tight and stretchy jeans. They have the potential to keep everybody awake in your lecture section if you wear them. So go for it.
Jeggings: They’re Not Just for Women Anymore
Jeggings are now available for men who prefer “just a scoach less room” in the pants they wear. Not sure they will keep anybody awake in class, except possibly the men who wear them. Ouch.
Fortunately, we live in a time when people have finally realized that it is a bad idea to pickle their brains by taking hallucinogenic drugs. Yet since undergraduates still crave otherworldly experiences, there is no reason why they cannot dress like strange apparitions to startle one another. This is how the new craze – hallucinogenic wear – got started.
The “Mad Men” and “Pan Am” Looks
On the heels of two successful television series, students from coast to coast have started to appear on campus in retro Madison Avenue and stewardess outfits. (Actually, we have never seen any students doing this, we are only hoping . . .)
The Itchy Hideous Sweater Look
The idea is to wear a repulsive hand-knit sweater, covered with pulled threads and pills, that looks like you found it in a trunk under a dead moose in an unoccupied cabin in the woods of Maine. This fashion look projects an attitude that is all about, “I am above caring about how I look, how I feel, how I smell, and how repugnant I am to members of the opposite sex.” To complete the look in colder weather, add a “Deputy Dog” knit hat with hanging tie strings.
The idea here is to try to look like you come from Nepal or Machu Picchu, even though you are really from Des Moines. Adopting an ethnic look is a great way to break the ice in bars. To keep people thinking that you are really from a distant country, insert the words “How do you say?” often in conversation. Example: “I would like another, how do you say, beer?”
Those are our hot, nonexistent fashion trends for this spring. Have any more to add? Be sure to let us know by entering a comment below.