By Danielle Koons
Yes, StraighterLine can totally get you to Paris this summer. Unless you don’t want to go to Paris… in which case StraighterLine can get you to London. Or Berlin. Or Candy Mountain. You know what? StraighterLine can get you wherever you want to go. (Awesome metaphor here.)
StraighterLine online college courses are a great way to save money and get done with college faster, which gets you on those cool road trips sooner. And if you decide to go on a trip this summer while still taking courses, you can finish up assignments wherever you are. Behold the beauty of online classes.
I wish I were taking summer classes at StraighterLine. Most of my conversations with friends over the summer go like this:
Friends: “Hey we’re thinking of going to Guatemala for a week of backpacking. You in?”
Me: (bewildered): “Uh no? I’d love to and all… but I have this little thing called college that I have to pay for. Maybe when I’m done with school?”
Friends: “Hey we’re thinking of driving to California and staying on the beach for a week. You in?”
Me: (suspicious) “That sounds fun…. but again, still have to save money for school.”
Friends: “Hey we’re thinking of riding unicorns up Candy Mountain to surf some rainbows made of gold.”
Me: “That sounds magical and I cant tell you how much I want to do that BUT SERIOUSLY WHERE ARE YOU GETTING ALL OF THIS MONEY?!”
I’m starting to suspect that my friends are secretly millionaires. The point is, being a college kid really halts the fun plans. (Don’t pretend like that last trip didn’t sound like everything you’d ever want in life.) College is expensive and time consuming. That’s just the way it is.
But StraighterLine is less expensive than traditional colleges and you get done a LOT faster. And since it’s all online, you can send in assignments and take tests from wherever you happen to be in the world. With only a fraction of the regular costs at a university and the convenience of finishing the course at your own pace, you can get done with those last few credits and be on your way to Candy Mountain in no time.
Or just be a secret millionaire. Whatever works.
Danielle Koons spends her time going to school for a stupid Bachelor of Science degree, smelling like wet dog (courtesy of her job as a groomer), and pretending to be a famous writer. But not a boring stuffy writer. A cool writer like Lewis Carroll, so she can ignore the “rules” of the English language and make up her own words.
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