All about Going Back to School, Buying Books, Dropping Classes and Wishing I Had a Donkey
by Danielle Koons
So…today was the first day of school for me. Unlike YOU lucky bunch, I am forced to attend a campus this semester. Instead of whining about how sad my on-campus college experience is, I’ll give you a few tips and “heads-ups” about the beginning of a semester.
Actually I may whine about it a little.
Like I said, my first day was today. School for the fall semester started August 27th for everyone at my college.
So when does the semester start for you if you take courses with StraighterLine? Whenever the heck you want it to, that’s when. You also don’t have to take the bus to get there, like I did. You’ll never have to do the awkward walk of shame late into the class because, let’s be honest, the stupid bus never arrives when it says it will.
Sigh. Online classes. I remember those days. Bowie sings about them- the song is called “Golden Years.”
Back to school
Because you keep punishing yourself.
Go to the StraighterLine website homepage and click on How It Works. If you scrolly-scroll down, it says: ‘Total Flexibility. Our college courses online have no fixed start or due dates, no required meeting times, no on-campus requirements, and no team projects. You set your own schedule and work at your own pace.”
I really like that there aren’t any team projects. I hate knowing that someone else’s efforts have some say in the grade I get.
Buying really, really ridiculously overpriced college books
Seriously. You’d think they were gold-bound with how they price these things.
Let’s pretend that you decided to start classes soon. You’re gonna need some books. Since I’ve already taken a physics class, I can tell you not to bother with the newest and most expensive edition. As my physics teacher told me long ago, “Luckily, the laws of gravity don’t really need to be updated.” The concepts are all the same, the only thing that changes with each edition is the layout. Before you purchase a new and expensive version, email the teachers and ask them if buying an older version would work for the class.
That link is the answer to your prayers. Well, if you happen to be praying for cheaper textbooks. (Which I do.) There’s a fancy tool that I use even to this day to find the books for my classes. You simply type in the ISBN number and it searches through dozens of used/new book sites to find the cheapest for you. On campus the book for my Botany class was $103.98. The StraighterLine Textbook Tool found it for me online for $56.00! StraighterLine really does a fantastic job at making education not only easy, but affordable as well.
You can search for a hard copy of the book or download it electronically onto your computer. I love typing my notes since I can type a lot faster than I can write. And as a bonus I can actually read what I scribbled! But likewise I also like writing my notes with a pen, because I can doodle little cartoons and stuff on my notes that help me remember the concepts from class. (To each their own, ok?)
Which reminds me…today I had the misfortune of sitting next to a sophomore girl who still thinks pens with jingle-y things on them are cute. The entire time she was taking notes I was forced to listen to what sounded like hateful little Jingle bells on acid. But, I’m an adult now and I didn’t break her pen.
You want/need to drop a class.
Meh. It happens.
Luckily, StraighterLine is super helpful with that. Go here: https://www.straighterline.com/how-it-works/refund-policy.cfm
That lists the refund policy for the monthly subscription.
The credits will transfer, no worries.
Really, they will.
The credits you earn from the online classes at StraighterLine are guaranteed to transfer to the partner colleges listed. If for some crazy unforeseen reason the universe is against you and the credits don’t transfer, StraighterLine refunds ALL of the money you spent getting those unruly credits. Ooh magic.
You may wonder why I wished for a donkey earlier. That’s because even though it’s only my first day of school, I had to walk across campus with a heavy backpack full of oppressively large textbooks and my laptop. As I trudged from one end of the campus to the other, I wondered if any local pet stores had any donkeys for sale. If I don’t find some way to get from one end to the other more easily, I’ll look like a hunchbacked troll by the end of this semester.
Stupid heavy backpacks.
Danielle Koons spends her time going to school for a stupid Bachelor of Science degree, smelling like wet dog (courtesy of her job as a groomer), and pretending to be a famous writer. But not a boring stuffy writer. A cool writer like Lewis Carroll, so she can ignore the “rules” of the English language and make up her own words.
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