Great Father’s Day Gift Ideas: Why I Want an Online Algebra Course for Father’s Day
I doubt that you’ve been wondering what to get me for Father’s Day. But in case you have, let me help you out. I don’t want a tie or a belt. I don’t even want a new cordless drill or a set of barbecue tools. Maybe a shoeshine kit, those are neat and very Father's Day-like.
But I really want an online algebra course for Father’s Day. And I can tell you exactly why.
First, an online algebra course would be great for my self-esteem. You see, way back when I was in high school, I took algebra twice. The first time I got, I think, a D. The second time, I got another D. When I looked at an algebraic equation, it made as much sense to me as Egyptian hieroglyphics. That prompted my algebra teacher Mr. Turturiello (yup, that was his name, Vince Turturiello) to observe that I wasn’t any good at algebra. That charge was hard to refute, given the evidence. But now that I am older maybe I could take an online algebra course and maybe get a B if I took my time and tried to absorb each lesson slowly. And that would be a big step forward for my self-image and self-esteem.
Second, an online algebra course would help me preserve my dignity. Back when I was taking algebra in high school, I would do things in class that made me look really stupid. When Mr. Turturiello called me up to the board to solve an equation, I would stand there and stare at it and hope it would go away, which it didn’t. If I took an online algebra course now and froze when I was looking at an equation, nobody would know. I could maybe take all the time I needed to unfreeze and figure it out, without Denise Rothstein laughing at me. (That’s right, a girl named Denise Rothstein sat behind me in algebra class, and I served as a great source of hilarious entertainment to her.)
Third, I could use algebra all the time, everywhere. If I was walking down the street and found an equation written on the sidewalk, I would solve it right then and there! If I was walking through a tough neighborhood and three guys jumped me and handed me a sheet of paper and said, “If you can’t solve this equation, we are going to mug you!” I could smile and solve the equation and go on my way unharmed. If I ran into Mr. Turturiello or Denise Rothstein I could say, “If you have an equation handy, hand it right over and I will solve it for you right now!” In short, I could go through life doing everything that algebra can do for me. I don’t know what that might be, because I don’t know algebra yet. But if I took a course, I would then know, and certainly lead a much better life through algebra.
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